punk pram

How to FIRE your boss.. Merri and Dolli outwit their rapist boss and cancel Gloria’s mortgage..

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Act Two  Chapter twenty three

Rocket Homes..Away!

-‘Closing down? But how will I live?’-

    Mr. Michael Princk MBA was fairly romping round his almost empty manager’s office.

        -‘We’ve done it, we’ve done it Gloria. We’ve achieved our utmost goal! No no! Don’t answer the phone!’-

            -‘But Sir, it could be important.’- She squinted at him over her glasses.

            -‘No no, it’s all confirmed. Today is the ultimate day. Now! Let’s close up now I say!’-

            -‘Sorry Sir. What exactly do you mean?’-

            -‘It’s all sold off! Today’s the final day. We’ll finish up now. Come on, don’t worry, I’ll pay you a whole half day.’-

He slid open the partition window to the near empty main office.

             -‘Merri, Dolli, it’s all confirmed, we close in half an hour.’-

            -‘Jolly good sir.’- said Merri, brightly.

            -‘Wonderful news super boss.’-

 

 Beaming and nodding, his two brilliant young financial managers lounged against the central pillar. They were dressed, for the first time ever, in shorts and T shirts, Merri a whole head taller than Dolli, and sporting the latest flowery stick-on tattoos.

 Now they were chatting in their cellphones, waving their arms and leaning, graceful and elegant around that pillar… to whisper quick and chortle through their fingers.

            -‘Eddie, Rose? Listen, now he says half an hour.. But it’ll be three quarters I bet.. Can you make it?… Okay, get the bastard on the corner. Everyone at the zebra.. great!…  Doesn’t matter just get him.. Chow pal, quick as you can.’-

 

Meanwhile in Michael Princk’s office, Gloria was in and out of shock. ..Was it possible, after so many years?.. So that’s why the temps hadn’t showed up and the sales people hadn’t checked in… Could it really be true?

            -‘Closing down? But how will I live? Why didn’t you tell me before?’-

            -‘Don’t be silly Glory. I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone except my finance team. Hush hush high finance darling.’-

            -‘But what about the staff, the sales people, me!’-

 Princk had gripped her arms, deliberately hurting her, and kissed her wet cheeks.

            -‘Don’t worry dearest.’- He winked. -‘What do you really think of our temporary staff?’-

            -‘A lazy slovenly low-bred lot of dossers!’- She heard herself repeat, and his laugh brayed much too loud, slightly spraying her face.

             -‘The temps work for Agencies. The sales staff are self employed, and you, I hope, will continue in my next Enterprise.’- Now he was pouring cheap brandy. -‘A glass to remember my faithful Gloria. Cheers!’-

            -‘No thanks I..’-

            -‘I insist. You simply must! How long has it been?’-

            -‘Eighteen years. But what about my son? Our.. ‘-

            -‘Relax darling.’-

His hand had crept around her waist, under her blouse and clutched up at her left breast.

              -‘That’s it, just knock it back. To our future!’-

 

 Out in the oNo means Noffice Dolli and Merri were listening and recording them on his web cam. The office net was coming in useful at last.

             -‘How disgusting he is, but this time he’s gonna pay.’- said Dolli with a smirk.

            -‘Get paid back. Achieve the ultimate pay day.’- added Merri.

             -‘Pay as you burn.’- And they giggled and joked some more.

             -‘Hang on he’s taking her in the back office for a quickie. That’s it, switch on the camera in there.’-

 

            -‘Oh no no no.’- Gloria was saying. -‘Sorry sir I’m just not in the mood and..’-

            -‘Now now this is our New Era, don’t be silly, or I won’t be able to confirm our agreement.’-

            -‘But, but.. I must have a contract so I can pay the mortgage.’-

            -‘Oh come on darling. Of course they won’t let me give out false contracts, my silly girl.’-

He’d pulled up her blouse, and was fiddling with her bra.

            -‘But don’t you worry love I promise to reward you in the New Era! Maybe we’ll call the company that! See you inspire me!’-  He pinched and yanked her tit.

            -‘Hey that hurts! But when will this new era begin?’-

            -‘I’ll be away for quite a while I’m afraid.. Come on, off with your things now. You know this is good for you.’-

 

Princk had picked up a rocket from the desk, a little red and white rubber ‘Rocket Homes’ rocket. The icon and Executive Toy of the Company.

             -‘Where are you going then? No. Stop it. Tell me first where you’re going. No come on now, I need the address and phone number, right now!’-

He had tugged her blouse right off, grasping with nervous twitchy movements.

Stuck his tongue in her ear, something he knew she really hated.

Gloria retreated, grimacing, Michael came trotting round the desk after her.

          -‘Oh Glory how can you doubt me, you hurt me so.’- He was tripping over his trousers.

Out in the office Merri and Dolly were watching the screen, groaning in disgust.

             -‘No no you don’t.’- Gloria had swung the executive chair between them.

             -‘Oh all right then.’- he said.

What she asked for had no importance, he never would re-hire her anyway.

mental prison  She was much too old, obsolete for the job.

  Mr. Princk leaned back to the open wall safe, burping loudly, and pulled out a paper. He actually held it up in front of the webcam a moment, as he passed it to Gloria.

  Then he grabbed her, waving his rubber rocket.

             -‘I’ll be in Barbados darling.’- he whispered, and she shuddered.

He’d plunged his tongue back in her ear again.

             -‘That’s it! Yippee!’- Merri and Dolli were embracing two offices away, Merri lifting and swinging little Dolli. -‘We got everything now, yippee. We’ll just copy that and..’-

            -‘Ow ow that hurts. Stop that sir!’- came Gloria’s voice.

             -‘Oh turn that thing off I can’t stand it.’

            -‘Now Merri, we record it all, it could be useful.’-

            -‘Ow ow get off me!’-

            -‘I’ll just turn down the sound, we don’t have to listen.’-

            -‘Let’s just go.-  said Merri. -‘We got more than we need. Let’s just take the computers, turn them off.’-

            -‘Well.. okay then. You’re right, but just our portables, let’s just go, sure Eddie will get the rest later.’- said Dolli. And Merri had already dived under the table.

             -‘Fine so I’m disconnecting everything and.. ‘-

 

Just then Mr. Michael P. Princk came trotting out of the inner inside office.

Holding the rubber rocket in two hands, naked but for his socks, bellies sagging.

 Merri and Dolli froze guiltily behind the pillar and desk, but his gaze was blank..

             -‘Rocket Homes..Away!’- he shouted and threw. The rubber rocket flew and struck, smearing the glass partition, ever so slightly.

             -‘Rocket Homes..Away!’-

Princk stood unseeing a second, with a set grin.

His rapidly shrinking prick was dribbling, a thin thread.

Then he clapped his white hands twice, swivelled and disappeared.

             -‘He never even saw us.’- said Dolli, breathing in.- ‘The Rocket has fizzled out.’-

             -‘He’s got a damp squib.’- said Merri, and they almost choked not laughing.

***

             -‘I can’t believe we’ve done it.’-

             -‘Where the hell is Gloria? Let’s just go, she’s just a horrible bitch anyway.’-

UntitledDolli and Merri were nervous and bored waiting. Reclining in the cool black leather seats of the curtained emissions-free ammonia car, watching the rain running rivulets down the tinted windscreen.

           -‘That’s true. But I thought we were gonna try and recycle her.’- Merri was rolling a number.

 Dolli began nuzzling her cheek, kicking off her shoes and twisting for a wet delicious kiss.

            -‘Mmmm, Yeah well. I wouldn’t bet a black cat’s fart on that one.’-

            -‘Kiss me again.’-

            -‘Anyway I want to see Princk getting shamed. Look here she comes.’-

Merri tooted and she turned. It was Gloria all right, almost unrecognizable.

Red eyed with her makeup off. And no umbrella.

            -‘Want a lift?’- Dolli swung open the rear door.

            -‘Okay where you going? This isn’t your car, is it? It’s brand new.’- But she jumped straight in the back.

            -‘We’re going to an Inipi Party. Spring Solstice and far out neo hippies. Wanna come?’-

            -‘You got the rest of the day off, and your kid in religious boarding school.’-

            -‘The rest of my life off I think. But what is an Inipi?’-

            -‘Kind of do-it-yourself sauna. Hey you look cool without makeup.’-

            -‘I just lost my job and got er, sexually menaced, with a ridiculous rubber rocket. I got zero prospects, zero compensation, a fourteen year old boy and a mortgage.’-

            -‘Happiness Level zero point zero.’-

            -‘Well, I really fancy you without makeup. How about a batwoman stick-on over each eye?’- Merri giggled.

            -‘Look here, he’s coming out! Let’s stay and watch it!’-

            -‘Just watch what happens Gory baby!’-

            -‘My name is Gloria, please girls!’-

            -‘Shit-on you sister, no girls here.-‘

 

Princk’s red Mercedes was emerging from the automatic garage door for the last time.

They got a glimpse of his ecstatic face. His dorky eyes were gawking, his mouth was hanging loose. Michael Prink was delighted with himself.

             -‘He just refused to lend me the bus fare..-‘You know I don’t carry small change darling.’- After all these years he refused to give me the fecking bus fare!’-

            -‘She just used a bad word, Dolli.’-

            -‘Just shut up Gory, and peel your peepers.’-

Dolli turned up the music, inhaled, stretching with a sexy wriggle, and passed Merri the spliff.

           Princk was gunning his huge motor.

            Two women with a big old pram were waiting at the zebra crossing.

            Waiting but not crossing, waiting but..

            His foot hit the gas.

            The woman pushed her pram under his front wheel.  

            There was a  grinding crunch as the car stopped. Bits of a pram. A woman screeching.

            A man was filming. Another smashing the side window with a hammer.

            Two more were pulling out Princk. Everyone from the bus stop was  running over.

           -‘Shit on me shit on me. Shame on you...’

            Shit on me shit on me. Shame on you..’-  ..The chant began.

            -‘Now he’s killed a baby!’- Gloria was scandalized.

         -‘No no.. No way you’ll see.. That’s just for shock. That pram was really full of concrete blocks!-

the boss's car  They were dancing round Michael P. Princk, manic in a circle. The crowd had multiplied and now the chants  were angry shouts. Princk was horror stricken, shouting obscenities, hands on his head.

            -‘All those people are Clan friends of the temps and the sales staff.’-

 Thick black smoke was pouring from the side window of the red Mercedes.

             -‘Uh oh..Time to go ladies.’-

            -‘Bye bye super boss.’- Merri murmured, gliding quietly off. -‘Have a magnificent holiday.’-

***

Merri was driving through the occupied Ragwort Pool area and up the hills. Weaving skillfully through handcarts, airbikes, NH3-lorries and groups of young Clanners.

             -‘Did I just see what I just saw? I can’t believe that happened.’- Gloria clung to denial.

            -‘We just scored the final winner. Our Levels went off the scale!’

            -‘We won. We won it all. I can’t believe it either.’- Dolli was clapping her and kissing Merri’s cheek.

            -‘Well.. Are you coming with us then?’- Merri asked. -‘Oh Gory we’ve got a nice surprise for you.. The other staff got theirs already.’-

            -‘My name is Gloria, please.’-

            -‘We’ve paid off your mortgage.’- said Dolli. Passing back a plastic file of embossed papers.

             -‘What? I have another eighteen years!’-

            -‘Of course you don’t deserve it. You’ve always made us eat shit you snobby bitch.’- said Merri. Trying to look hard.

-‘But in the end we were all in the same, er, pathetic crashed rocket.’-

            -‘This can’t be true. You’re just winding me up.. for revenge!’- The sheaf of papers shook in her hands..

            -‘It’s just your share. If not we’ll give more to Women’s Rescue.’-

            -‘On the Wurts value scale you paid it long ago you know.’-     .[see Glossary.WURTS.}

            -‘We made it like old shitface Princk paid it.’- said Merri -‘For a thousand Euros our friends transfer mortgages to toxic loans and do the papers. They got the caretaker bank by the short and curlies, due to the mortgage boycott.’-

            -‘He owes you a lot more I mean. You ran his fraudulent business and we living without moneymanaged the money.’-

            -‘What? But I owe it, I have to pay.’

            -‘Pay who Gory? The banks sold off what was left after the last crash and the mortgage strikes. The law is paralyzed, they just printed the cash to pay for the house in the first place.’-

            -‘Mortgages will be abolished if we get the money free market.’    [ref.29.Zeitgeist p456)

            -‘I’ve always paid my way and ruled my corner.’-

            -‘Yeah like a fascist bastard. Why could you never once stop shitting on us!’-

Dolli turned menacingly to where Gloria squirmed. Looking small in the big back seat.

            -‘It’s worse than that. Even worse.’- She shrank back.

They were zooming silently out of town, splashing through deep, wide puddles.

            -‘Worse? Difficult to believe.’-

Now it seemed that Gloria was weeping, then she blurted out..

             -‘Old Shitface, as you call him, is the father of my son.’-

            -‘Oh my god. Oh my god. Break out the emergency hankies.’- said Merri.

            -‘Oh Gloria I’m so sorry.. That’s why you turned into a monster.’-

            -‘I’m not not NOT a monster!’- she sobbed.

             -‘Well he thinks he just transferred five million to an unnamed tax haven.’-

            -‘And he h-hasn’t?’-

 

The rain was easing off and they got a flash of the mountains up ahead.

          6298415870_c9e6fc6da4_o   -‘More like ‘donated’ to the CoOp Pools Credit Union.’-              {ref. 7. CoOps]

            -‘He was just a petty parasite, an obsolete, rapacious, predator capitalist.’- said Merri.

            -‘Yes well.. We’ll cut him off gently when it’s all safe and tied up.’-

            -‘He should never have put his loot in a Clanners bank.’-

            -‘It’s not a Clanners bank, it’s a Credit Union.. But he should never have hired us!’-

            -‘We went to the wrong free university.’-

            -‘That’s for sure anyway.’- Dolli slipped her arm round her. –‘Aren’t you driving too fast?’-

            -‘Okay Gory, you’re going through the Inipi saunas, and the deep massage. Then we’re gonna teach you how to breathe.’-

            -‘My name… ‘-

            -‘And could be you need some sessions like, how come you ended up with a superiority complex, and like, getting your knickers wet making us all miserable, and..’-

            -‘It was my mother really, she sent me to this snobby private school, and even though I  ….’-

            -‘Okay not now, not yet please. Let’s just wind right down first, okay?.’-  Merri had a last drag of the spliff and Dolli stubbed it out.

There was a long silence, as the limousine gained height, the sun came and went, flashing them  glimpses of the ocean below. White windmills were flying with black jackdaws, kids whizzing down the mountain on bikes..

Merri began chuckling to herself, a bit stoned. Dolli cuddling up to her as she drove.

She swerved to miss a cocky rooster on the hill, and laughed some more.

Just about out of the city.

Then both of them just started laughing together and just didn’t stop.

Deep and little at first, then hysterically, subsiding into giggles and roaring up again.

            -‘Did you see his..his face at the ‘Shit-On’.’-

            -‘Oh yes. Oh yes. Oh golly yes yes..’-

            -‘I thought he would explode! Did you.. did you see..’-

            -‘And then.. and when.. Oh Dolli.. and when.. and..’-

But now they were laughing too much to even speak.

Merri had to pull off the steep road, she couldn’t drive anymore.

Stamping their feet, and embracing, writhing with laughter.

            ‘Did you see his..his face?’-

Something snapped in Gloria’s brain.

She squealed once.

Clapping her hands on the embossed receipts.

              -‘This really is for real, isn’t it!’-  She had started laughing herself.

             -‘You clever clever, clever wonderful girls!’-

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next episode  here   Serial of The Free. Ch 23. Rocket Homes.. Away!

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